What is reality? Reality is the perception of looking as it is through your mind — the result of everything, our situation, skill, environment, people, social structure, experiences, underlying thoughts, connected behaviors, and so on. How does reality with cognitive space connect?
Recently scientists have had a suspicion about the existence of Objective Reality. On the other hand, “Subjective Reality” rules the world. Does that mean that everything becomes the perception? Then, What does reality mean to us, and what does it do? Where does it exist, outside of our mind or inside?
The results of our every action, whether it involves us directly or not, affect us. And we experience various emotions and take steps, and our continued action either creates new thoughts or pulls back existing beliefs and experiences inside our mind; now, where does this starts or stops?
The only angle we need to look at this is how conscious enough we are to see what’s happening within our minds and where it leads.
In this cycle of reality, some of us succeed, and some fail. Some of us are caught amid a Tsunami of emotions experiencing or led to the most adulterated psychological words in recent years like stress, depression, and anxiety. In the 1960s, Aaron T. Beck pioneered Cognitive Behavior Therapy [CBT] with the firm belief that “Cognition” is the origin of emotions and Behavior. He treated mental illnesses like depression and anxiety with it. Aaron explained how the “Cognitive triangle: Thoughts, Emotions and Behavior” plays in creating events in our life, which we perceive as reality.
Let us further divide this cognitive or emotive loop into three types of loops.
- Cognitive Vicous Loop
- Cognitive Asymmetrical Loop
- Cognitive Virtuous Loop
This loop of thoughts, emotions, and Behavior invariably defines us.
Carl Jung explored human thoughts, emotions, and Behavior (Cognitive Triangle) and links directly to an individual behavior driven by conscious and subconscious thoughts of the mind, which has become a base of understanding different behaviors for creating personas and archetypes.
Let us look at the psychology behind these cognitive loops.
- Cognitive Vicous Loop:
Negative Thoughts → Negative Emotional State → Backward Behavior
Let us see some scenarios:
General debate/group discussion
I will lose; I don’t have enough content. I know significantly less about this subject; people will judge me. → Low in energy, having many self-doubts (self-judging), feeling confused, unsure, stressed →, getting stuck and stumbling, or not completing the sentence with enough clarity, withdrawal.
Habits
I have tried and failed my diet multiple times, let me break my diet, no one is watching me → Low in morale and self-confidence, feeling stressed and anxious → irresponsible act, caught into the guilt trap, disappointment.
Relationship
I don’t show my love; I will get hurt; this won’t go anywhere; nobody will understand → Low in energy, confused, fear, stressed, anxious → Miscommunicating, react with the situation, struggling to open up, dwelling by being defensive/offensive.
The outcome of the Cognitive Vicous Loop:
Thoughts: Blame (self/others), Presumptions, Assumptions, Future Focused, Judgemental (self/others), Directive, Guilt thoughts, and so on.
Emotions: Confused, Fear, Unsettling, Unclear, Stressed, Anxious, Self-doubt, and so on.
Behavior: React, Miscommunicate, Withdrawal, Act of defensive/offensive, Dissatisfaction, Regret.
2. Cognitive Asymmetrical Loop
Mixed Thoughts → Assorted Emotions → Stay put Behavior
General debate/group discussion
I don’t have enough content, that's alright, let me express, I know significantly less about this subject than my colleagues, that’s ok; people will judge me, I can manage. → Fluctuation in energy, hanging self-doubts (self-judging), feeling unsure, overconfidence → Express well if uninterrupted within the boundary or tend to incomplete the sentence, gradual withdrawal, continues presence of performance anxiety.
Habits
I can’t do this; let me break my diet. I am sure I can make it up next week. No one is watching me. I know I am working for my health. Is this the first time cheating on a diet? → Low morale and self-confidence, No self-control, overconfidence, feeling stressed and anxious → Luck/situation pushed to do responsible act, otherwise irresponsible act, guilt becomes a regular visitor, disappointment.
Relationship Communication
I am not showing enough love; I will get hurt. I can get out of this; I will try my best → constant fluctuation in energy, feeling unclear, overconfident, stressed, anxious, self-doubt → Miscommunicating, reacting/responding to the situation, dwelling by being defensive/offensive.
The outcome of the Cognitive Asymmetrical Loop:
Thoughts: Focused, Conscious, Expressive, Presumptions, Assumption, and so on.
Emotions: Fluctuate, Unsettling, Unclear, Stressed, Self-doubt, and so on.
Behavior: Uncertainty, Miscommunicate, React/Respond (Both based on situation), Acting defensive/offensive.
3. Cognitive Virtuous Loop
Conscious Thoughts → Balanced Emotions → Forward Behavior
General debate/group discussion
Let me express my thoughts about the subject of the debate; I am curious to know the subject and readiness to seek → Balanced energy, feeling acceptance, clarity, and content → express and participate with clarity, silence with curiosity, learning new perspectives.
Habits
I am on a diet for a healthy lifestyle; I am sure this diet will help me achieve my goal. Let me explore similar diet options; Being fit is very important. → Steady with self-confidence, self-control, feeling proud and happy, being conscious, → take responsible action, keeping up their diet, moving forward with discipline and self-respect.
Relationship Communication
I will express because I care; I am curious to hear and understand; I accept I am part of this, open-minded. → Balanced energy, involvement, concern, empathy, conscious → Communicating with kindness, respect, and love, responding to the situation.
The outcome of the Cognitive Virtuous Loop:
Thoughts: Focused, Objective, Conscious, Expressive, Assertive, Empathetic, Curious, Acceptance, Appreciative, Commitment, and so on.
Emotions: Balanced, Involved, Conscious, Content, happy, and so on.
Behavior: Kindness, Respect, Inclusive, Love, Respond.
The virtuous loop is an encouraging choice that is right there, and this loop is no shortcut.
As Freud compared the relationship between id and ego relates to horse and rider, the horse represents id and ego as a rider. It becomes important who drives whom for acceptable and responsible behavior.
Undoubtedly, every cognitive loop creates new events, experiences, knowledge, people, and structure, which becomes our new reality, which feeds us again to our another choice of “Cognitive loop.”
We cannot go back in time to change our past. Please look at happenings, ask yourself what’s in your control, and observe which LOOP your mind has chosen unconsciously. Is it
- Cognitive Vicous Loop
- Cognitive Asymmetrical Loop
- Cognitive Virtuous Loop
Now, let us ask this “who does create this reality?”
Take a moment, look inwards consciously, analyze those thoughts to elevate the perception; see how we can shift our loop to the “Virtuous Loop.” We need to develop a healthy ego that can take care of our choice and control the id. Freud, explains this as a “reality principle.”
Once you identify and understand ego, seek help to shift perspective, only the conscious mind shifts gear to work on “forward behavior.”
Science has proven the ability of Neuroplasticity, we consciously and unconsciously observe through habits and behaviors, but
Consciousness happens only through consciousness.
Here conscious choice becomes your responsibility.
In other words, “Subjective reality” directly depends on the “Cognitive loop.”
We create our “Subjective reality.”
It’s the choice of the loop you choose that becomes your REALITY.
A conscious realization becomes the kickstart of your incredible journey.
Anandraj K.S. — Product Manager — PCC (ICF) — Life and Transformational Coach.
